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By Hyosook Park, Professor
Photo Credit: Unsplash
In light of the COVID-19 pandemic, a full-time mother finds herself struggling with her three-year-old daughter's constant whining. The mother, who has been at home with her child for over five months, confesses that her mental state is nearing collapse due to the continuous crying, despite trying to meet all her daughter's needs. She describes the situation as a cycle of losing her temper in the morning and feeling remorseful by evening, seeking advice for her predicament.
Children often whine when they are sleepy, hungry, tired, or unwell. If the whining persists regardless of these factors, it might be due to communication frustrations as the child’s language skills are still developing, or the child’s desires being unmet, leading to distress.
The phrase "whining three-year-old daughter" reflects a mother's exhaustion. At three, a child’s sense of self begins to form, often resulting in mischief as they assert their presence. This is a normal developmental phase. A mother’s role is to manage these behaviors, offering comfort and understanding as long as they don't pose major problems.
Praising positive behavior can gradually lead to change. The mother mentioned a cycle of anger and regret; seeking forgiveness is beneficial for the child to witness. However, frequent apologies without behavioral changes may undermine parental authority, complicating future parenting efforts.
It's crucial to avoid letting mood swings dictate parenting responses. Emotional upheaval can transmit negative impacts to the child. Children under seven can usually process only one emotion at a time and find it challenging to shift between emotions. Therefore, mothers should use familiar objects or foods to redirect the situation and communicate love clearly.
Three-year-olds require firm yet kind and consistent guidance about what’s allowed and what isn’t. Mothers should comfort themselves and acknowledge the invaluable time spent nurturing their young ones. There are no definitive solutions in parenting; the affectionate gaze of a parent fosters a child’s growth.
If the fatigue of parenting persists and is accompanied by a lack of joy or growing guilt, seeking help from a professional is recommended.
Director of New Jersey Family Ministry /
Ph.D. in Pastoral Counseling
Consultation Booking: hyosook0510@gmail.com
"Is there anything more challenging than parenting? Any parent would likely agree. As a parent, am I raising my child properly? How well do I understand my child? At Mom & I, expert counseling cases are shared in a Q & A format to offer wisdom for appropriate child-rearing. We hope this counseling column benefits and assists many parents with young children."
