I have a 25-month-old only daughter. In the past, I have had to deal with her throwing tantrums and crying loudly in department stores. Recently, she has been screaming even more, and it has become quite challenging. What should I do about my child?

There are various reasons why children scream. They often feel that their needs are not being met or that their mother is not listening to them, so they resort to screaming as a way to say, "Mom, listen to me. Play with me." Instead of scolding her by saying, "Don't scream, just talk softly!" it’s better to approach her, make eye contact, and say, "Okay, Mommy is here. What can I do for you?" You should listen attentively to what she wants with a warm gaze.

When children scream or throw tantrums in public places like department stores, parents may worry about being a nuisance to others and end up giving in to their child's demands. It’s important to be firm and set boundaries, stating clearly what is not acceptable. If you give in to their demands just to avoid a situation, it reinforces the habit of screaming. In this case, the child learns that "screaming gets me what I want easily." You cannot fulfill every demand of your child, and even if you could, it’s not advisable. However, if they are screaming due to tiredness or hunger, you should comfort them and address their needs proactively. If a child is screaming and lying down because things are not going their way, take them to a quiet place to help them calm down first. Once they are calm enough to talk, explain the reasons why you cannot immediately fulfill their request. Children do not usually act without reason; often, there are underlying feelings driving their behavior. This stage is one where emotional expression and regulation are still developing, and they may scream as a means of communication. Depending on the situation, you may need to respond with indifference or impose consequences to change their behavior. They need to learn that "screaming is not effective."

Parents are teachers of their children's emotions. Children learn to regulate their emotions and behaviors through parental guidance. If a child has developed a habit of screaming without a specific reason, parents should first examine their own language and lifestyle habits. The more provocative and negative behaviors are, the quicker children learn and adopt them.

If the screaming continues without reason, I strongly recommend seeking help from a professional.

Is there anything more challenging than parenting? Parents who have raised children would likely agree with this question. As a parent, am I truly raising my child correctly? How well do I know my child?

At Mom & I, we present expert counseling cases in a Q&A format to offer wisdom for proper child-rearing. I hope this counseling corner will be beneficial and helpful to many parents with young children.

Written by Professor Park Hyo-sook

Director of New Jersey Family Ministry / Doctor of Pastoral Counseling / Counseling Appointments /

hyosook0510@gmail.com