In the last column, I discussed how it might be more important for children to enjoy happiness in the present than to prepare for the future. To avoid any misunderstanding that this could encourage children to abandon studying and training in favor of play, I would like to explore another aspect of happiness today. Another authority on lifelong happiness and quality of life is Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a professor of education and psychology at the University of Chicago, who is known for developing the concept of "flow." Flow refers to a state of deep immersion in an activity to the extent that one forgets the concept of time and even thoughts about oneself. Dr. Csikszentmihalyi argues that true happiness, or a higher level of happiness, comes from being in a perfect psychological state of flow.

For complete immersion, several conditions must be met. First, there should be clear goals and immediate feedback, and the activity should be slightly more challenging than one’s current skill level. Additionally, for true immersion, intrinsic motivation must be strong; one must genuinely enjoy the activity. I recalled the day my child, just shy of three years old, first held a pair of child-safe scissors. Gripping the unfamiliar tool tightly in small hands, the child cut a large piece of paper into various shapes, eyes sparkling with curiosity. Although the fingers were tense and not quite cooperating, the child repeatedly cut the paper, seemingly aimlessly, for a long time. When a pile of unrecognizable paper scraps had accumulated, the child looked up at me and laughed. It was a moment that revealed just how immersed the child was at that moment and how much satisfaction was derived from that experience.

During the isolation period, there were a few things that helped me cope with the boredom of a repetitive life: yoga and piano practice. Although these were unfamiliar training and practice times for me, I consistently engaged in these activities driven by a strong desire, often experiencing moments of complete immersion where I forgot the passage of time. After these sessions, the sense of achievement and satisfaction helped me endure the monotony of daily life with a bit more vibrancy. Thus, immersion is not something that can only be found in the professional performances of successful individuals; it can also develop from simple curiosity and hobbies in the daily lives of children and ourselves. Of course, some children may be more prone to immersion depending on their temperament. However, even children who may lack concentration and patience can show a remarkable level of immersion when they encounter topics that align perfectly with their desires and interests.

Dr. Csikszentmihalyi states that if children truly acquire something, they will engage in original and creative actions based on what they have learned. As children transition from the play-based learning of early childhood to the structured learning of school, they often learn topics chosen by adults rather than those driven by their unique curiosity. Nowadays, when given free time, there is an increasing number of children who feel bored and do not know how to initiate any activities on their own. If learning does not provide any creative stimulation or inspiration for them, we need to critically examine the reality that we are raising passive and bored children through standardized education without considering their individual characteristics.

In a society that demands a passive life rather than an active one, how can we, as parents, help our children cultivate creative and proactive immersion in their lives? It comes to mind that we should strive to provide our children with many challenges and diverse experiences from a young age, respect their choices within those experiences, and allow them to take responsibility for their failures or mistakes without intervening. I often think of the many children today who, despite being surrounded by vast nature, do not embark on journeys of discovery and adventure but instead remain confined to small rooms, completing assigned tasks and playing games afterward. Of course, our children cannot be entirely excluded from this behavior.

We must pay attention to every quirky question and action of our children and support them generously so that these can lead to more creative activities, whether it involves catching bugs, playing war games, drawing cartoons, or attempting backflips all day long. However, we cannot solely follow their unique curiosities.

As children grow, academic achievement and repetitive training also become very important, enhancing the level and quality of immersion. Nevertheless, is there not something we can do as parents to help them balance and harmonize what they have to do with what they want to do? There is no manual that everyone must follow in life. I believe we should discover a way of living that suits us.

"You cannot understand a child’s talent if you regard it as insignificant." - Janusz Korczak

Written by Jiwon Yoon, ATR-BC, LCPC

• Master's degree in Art Therapy

• Treatment of child victims of sexual assault at the Chicago Children’s Advocacy Center

• Art therapist for the Korea GS Caltex Social Contribution Project and the Seoul Foundation for Arts and Culture

• Healing mothers with substance abuse issues at the Center for Great Expectation in New Jersey

• Founder of Hope and Art Studio, an art therapy studio in New Jersey

• Currently conducting picture book creation and counseling programs for mothers raising children in a bicultural environment

Host of the podcast "My American Child"

www.hopeandartstudio.com / hopeandartstudio