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In my early years, I longed to be pretty, and as I grew older, I envied sexy women. Now, in my mid-thirties, I've finally begun to think about my own beautiful image, not just the reflection others see. This journey involves distinguishing what truly belongs to me from what doesn't and gathering my preferences to find my unique style. While men can certainly be part of this journey, it is uniquely enjoyable as a woman. I've decided to add "becoming a stylish woman" to my new year's bucket list.
Have you heard of the term "New York hobo"? Despite living in one of the world's fashion capitals, there are times when my appearance seems to regress. Choosing to hold onto cash instead of purchasing something pretty has led to fewer visits to New York's expensive salons. This marked the beginning of a "black" fashion phase focused on safety and practicality. With no social events like weddings or first birthday parties to attend, I managed to get by. Occasionally, upon hearing friends from Korea were visiting, I scrambled to spruce up, yet found it hard to shake off the deeply ingrained "New York hobo" style. Despite my background in fashion design and believing I understood my style, the reality was different. After three years of embracing this style, even purposeful shopping trips left me unsure of what I wanted or where to start.
I was reminded of a friend who became a full-time housewife early on, attending school reunions adorned in every luxury brand she owned. Her style had frozen in time since the year of her marriage. Without awareness, style is easily lost, and recovering it is not as simple as it seems; it may be lost forever.
When thinking of stylish women, Jackie Kennedy, Audrey Hepburn, and "Sex and the City" character Carrie Bradshaw often come to mind. Some say fashion is all about money, yet many wealthier women failed to craft their own style. For instance, Paris Hilton, heiress to the Hilton Hotels, doesn't lack resources, yet hasn't created a distinct style. Analyzing those who etched their styles into history reveals three key components: knowing oneself, having the sense to know what suits you, and blending these with a unique, passionately pursued life. Countless women were prettier or sexier, yet weren’t remembered for their style, highlighting the uniqueness of becoming a stylish woman. Understanding and developing one's style extends beyond mere appearance, evolving into the creation, love, and enjoyment of one’s life.
I've landed desirable jobs twice thanks to style. Interestingly, one former boss mentioned hiring me because I confidently wore flashy earrings to a job interview. Another remarked that during my phase of enjoying an opulent style, my fur and leopard print fashion suggested I could successfully drive business. The world often operates on seemingly illogical logic.
Where does one begin in crafting their style? The key lies in shopping, but not as commonly understood. It's about consistent self-interest and self-study. Yes, it costs money. However, investing in becoming a stylish woman offers returns by preventing lost style, confidence, or health of heart and soul, often costly to cure later. Believe it or not, becoming a stylish woman leads to more amazing life experiences.
I don't have a Chanel bag—not because of its price, but because it’s not my style. I enjoy reading, write for small fees, and create art. I pair a vintage dress with leopard suede flats while savoring Starbucks' morning coffee. Though I may look older than my age, being occasionally perceived as intellectual isn’t bad. For me, a Givenchy Pandora bag suits me more than a Chanel signature bag. While it costs over $2,000, it’s worth adding to my shopping list, as it represents the evolving me. I aim to buy it without reckless spending or hastily showcasing luxury brands.
Everyone has experienced feeling different on days when they don't like their appearance versus when they do. Some days, we rush home unnoticed, while on others, we wish to engage with people in nice places. In the new year, I hope to have more of the latter days. Whether I leave behind the New York hobo life to become a "madame" or embrace my style with confidence, I will strive to love myself more.
