Becoming a Mother of Two in the U.S.

Hyun-Jin Lee, Mom Reporter

After spending my twenties in the laboratory, I aspire to be a beautiful wife, a good mother, and, importantly, to find the wonderful 'me.' I enjoy cooking, knitting, and cherish my early morning 'alone' coffee times.

Daily Battles of Parenthood

Every day, I feel like a 'warrior' heading into the battlefield of childcare. But, when I look at my children's faces, my heart swells with emotions. "So what if I miss a drama or some leisure time? Let me deeply love them when they need me." My dear first love, Eun-Seo, and my adorable second, Eun-Ha. Thus, I became a mother of two.

My First Experience: Giving Birth in America

Ah, why did I make this choice again? I kept repeating the same words, writhing in pain. The epidural wasn't effective, and the doctor repeatedly asked how I was doing. My legs were numb, and the pain was unbearable! Having given birth to my first child in Korea, adapting to the American obstetrics system and undergoing examinations in English over ten months was challenging, and the labor was even more arduous. Due to the pain and the panic of forgetting how to express my numbness in English...

Fortunately, I was eventually able to welcome my second child, Eun-Ha, with a smile, thanks to the pain relief. Eun-Ha looked just like my first at birth. She was incredibly beautiful. Even though my parents in Korea offered to come to the U.S. for postpartum care, I boldly decided to manage alone. But I was scared. It reached the point where I posted on a Korean-American housewives' site asking, "Can I have a baby alone at the obstetrics ward?"

Many 'moms' expressed sympathy for my situation, offering to take care of my first child if I lived nearby. After much deliberation, I was admitted to the obstetrics ward alone at dawn, endured labor, and finally gave birth to Eun-Ha, with my husband rushing into the room at the last moment. Surprisingly, it wasn't as challenging as I feared, and I managed to get through it.

The Hospital Experience

In the hospital where I gave birth to my second child, children were not allowed to stay overnight, and rooming-in with mothers and infants was the standard. From the first day after Eun-Ha’s birth, I stayed up taking care of her alone. Though I needed sleep, I wasn't in pain. Was it because she was too beautiful? No, thanks to the regular doses of Motrin from the nurses! The constant provision of pain relief was a cultural shock I experienced in the U.S.

Every morning, Eun-Seo came to the hospital holding her dad's hand to spend time with me. She explored all the buttons on the hospital bed and roamed the room floor as if it were our living room. Meanwhile, my husband brought meals to replace the inadequate hospital food. Though I enjoyed Western food, the 'love' miyeok-guk (seaweed soup) he brought every morning was the best postpartum diet for me.

In the hospital, the condition of the mother and newborn was checked regularly, and diapers and formula were promptly provided. A Black nurse, clearly moved by my situation of caring for the baby alone at night, generously offered a paper bag full of baby supplies, winking as she advised, "Tell the next nurse you have no baby supplies." She was truly the best!

The Real Journey Begins

Thus, after stocking up on baby supplies, I returned home after three days. The 'real and vivid' journey of raising two children had begun. The children leave no time for me to enjoy meals, sleep through the night, or watch a drama. Though I must become a 'warrior' heading daily into the childcare battlefield, looking at their faces fills my heart. "So what if I miss a drama or some leisure? Let me deeply love them when they need me." My beloved first, Eun-Seo, and my irresistibly cute second, Eun-Ha. This is how I've become the mother of two.

“Mommy!”, “Wah!”

Ah! My two children are calling for me. The mom warrior is ready to deploy, to shower love on my beautiful little ones!